I realize recently that I've been almost more misogynistic than... everyone recently especially coming from a woman. But I digress. I am as flawed and imperfect as all other women and as much as men are flawed and imperfect. As much as I believe that I've always had a masculinized view of my life as a woman and a criticism of 'femininity' as set by certain societal standards, I do wish to speak about female power.
Women have the power of insanity. Insanity, as I've written in my Magnum Opus (The Alpha Female of Wicker) is protection. In my novel, which is a personal cathartic creation, I follow a seemingly functional schizophrenic shapeshifter female who is highly misogynistic. She transfigures herself into her dead fraternal twin sister in order to revel in past incestuous behaviours they had shared, and ultimately becomes jealous when as her sister she flirts with the man she is in love with. He, along with another man, both desire to contain and tame this uncontrollable power that she holds. The protagonist has a son with her male-transfigured late sister that she ends up devouring at the end of the novel in order to end her incestuous bloodline and start to live her life as a contained pregnant and barefoot housewife that nonetheless requires two men to be able to control her. It explores the fetish of polyamory but also the requirement of force and domination to be able to contain the excessive and chaotic power that wells out of femininity.
You can say what you will about my art, I don't care. I believe art should be free. But I wrote this in my SJW days and I still consider it my greatest work. It mainly looks at woman as a form of magic and erotic energy that is far more chaotic than ordered. Men are more ordered than women. The problem men face is excess in anger and violence, which has it's own downfalls. Women are just plain crazy.
In The Bacchae by Euripides, the mother of the male protagonist of the story sneaks off to the Bacchic rites and as he spies on their insanity, he a violent death by her hand. She rips off his head and the other women his arms (sparagmos) as she is in a trance of frenzied energy that jives well with other women, but not with men. Women desire to be completely free from all chains, from all forms of confinement. Liberation to feminists and even just women in general, is crucial and important to their happiness, hence why so many philosophers and writers have written about the insatiability of the woman and of her desires. In Pierre, a short-story by Anais Nin, Pierre as a boy is taken to a brothel with his older brother, who fucks whores in front of him. Upon seeing the whore's genitals, he becomes frightened by her vagina, which reminds him of a salivating mouth that can never be satisfied. It turns him gay.
Women more than ever now are unsatisfied with their male partners (betas) and are looking into being polyamorous (with more betas) in order to have a constant stream of consensual romantic emotional fulfillment but also to own the body of numerous men in order to have protection and sex pretty much when she desires. Is there something wrong with that? Not intrinsically, but it does show that insatiable desire and also a desire of deep, constant possession and control. Greed and envy grip women and no matter how hard one tries, women will always be dissatisfied in some way. She must learn order, peace and contentment, something that seems to come a lot more easily to men.
Concerning magic, women are more magical. Yeah, you can call me a bit heretic, but I'm an artist and I create magic with my art. I'm an emotional person, far too sensitive to function normally and I'm in constant need of re-alignment and a good talking to. God helps too. In many native American traditions, women who are menstruating are not allowed to enter the ritual tipi because they are imbibed with too much magical/spiritual energy and create a imbalance in the order desired. The magic of women is not that which creates religion, codes and systems and constructions, it is a raw, intuition-based form of abandonment, a reach into the depths of disgust, of matter, of blood, sex and euphoria.
Imagine, if you so desire, women dancing in a circle around a bonfire chanting about the wonders of menstrual blood, the ecstasy of birth and creation, the erotic energy of childrearing and breastfeeding, the milk that streams down from breasts full of wine-laced milk that their children will have to wait to drink, for his mother is busy masturbating emotionally alongside other women. I've written erotica and more than ever recently do I review my past SJW work and fear the intensity that is lesbianism and lesbian sex. Women together are two forces of chaos that are performing whatever they both desire unto the other in order to attempt to reach a maximal amount of fulfillment. Lesbians are notorious for having all the sex toys available, for being curious about trying various deviant sexualities in order to obtain the most about ecstasy possible. They fuck for 8 hours or more, never having enough of each other, because they never have enough of themselves. Lesbians are stuck in a constant pussy-flicking(?) of savage self-fulfillment that starts with them and ends with them. Both women, even if they attempt at reaching higher levels of joy with each other, ultimately will end up realizing that unless they are in an orgy where everything is permissible, it will never be enough. (I've mentioned the lesbians I know who have 8-hour-long sex sessions. The last time I talked to them, they said they would like to add another lesbian to their relationship. Yep. I told you.)
Women have the ability to bring out demons into them and into others. They will seek far and wide to open the gates which should be left close because they are insatiable in their curiosity and their desires. I find this highly crippling for society, but I do think that this can be channeled properly. A woman in science could use her voracious curiosity to research biochemistry and make a cure for cancer. They can sublimate it or transfigure it into entities that she can use in order to help her deal with her emotions or with the negativity of others. I know a woman who considers herself a witch and I admire her steadfast femininity although she is highly masculinized as well, but also admits to her privilege. (She had a pretty Alpha husband and he's wealthy and she likes it.) She uses ideology as a tool to enable her life in the directions she chooses it and taps into the chaotic nature of woman in order to situate herself somewhere in between the sacred neutral and the all-encompassing chaos that is humanity.
There should be room for this power. I do not believe women should be silenced when it comes to a very self-aware critique of themselves and of their nature. If women are to be seen as in need of discipline and dominance, we need to understand why. The why is not just 'she is inferior' concerning reason and rationality, it comes with 'why?' and 'what makes her so?' If God created woman so chaotic, why? God does not hate women. Women are spiritual equals of men. I believe this, but the power given to them is not equal or the same at all. The power of woman is sacred to women, and incomprehensible to men. It is mystical and frustrating and perhaps vile and extreme in some cases, but it remains present and malleable.
This is the nicest I can be to women and to myself. As an artist, I can easily say that I've explored how far I can take my soul through writing. I haven't written about everything, but almost, since I started when I was a teenager, and now that I am a mother, the mother of a son, and a wife, I realize that I must be even more self-aware of every single thing that I think or say or realize in this world. My emotions do have consequences on others and on myself, and they render me insane at times, so much so that I cannot sleep. I wish I didn't have them. I wish I wasn't a woman, but I do love being a woman as well, because I have a power that is female and that is infinite and it is special and unique to women.
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