The Paradoxes of the Christian NRx

As a Christian in the Alt-Right, I've been facing a few personal moral issues. The first is my wrath. I refuse to be saddened about the issues that have happened, sadness brings me nowhere right now. I've wallowed in depression long enough, but I find myself replacing this sadness with anger. This anger breeds resentment, self-hatred, contempt and pride. I find myself having to realign myself, often with the psalm (36:10): "Be still, and know that I am the Lord." I find myself rebelling against God's authority, questioning its legitimacy and finding myself ill and disgusted, which makes me think I've gone too far in my ideologies.