Wednesday, 6 April 2016

Healthy Sexuality: Self-Rape

When you look up self-rape on the internet, you usually get a lot of 'Christian Woman calls 911 on her 9-year-old son who was masturbating' Well, I'm here to tell you that there is a clear difference between self-rape and self-sexuality.

Children have self-sexuality and it should not be shamed or prevented, but controlled and discussed. It is important to make a child aware that they should not masturbate in public and not to do it too often. Nymphomania can occur in children concerning self-sexuality. To tell your child it is wrong to masturbate won't stop them from doing so, they'll just feel shame and horror when doing it. Children never rape themselves, no one rapes themselves.

But self-rape is real. Self-rape happens when you force yourself to have sex or to engage sexually without someone when you don't actually wish it. Sexuality is finicky and it's easy to accidentally fall into coercion and into doubt and temptation. Our society encourages sexual exploration, but not love and commitment. Because of this, people do not know each other very well before engaging sexually and without a huge amount of communication, a bad situation may occur. While the person you are with might show keen interest in sex, you might not be as keen. This person is obliged to respect you, and is tempting you, but people seem to like that these days, to be prompted into a sexual act. When you are not liking it, automatically stop. Put on your clothes and leave. If there is doubt in the process, do not go on. If you do, the person has coerced you and has raped you, but you have also raped yourself. You disrespected what you wanted, you placed yourself in a situation that you thought was 'fun' or 'special' and you let it go too far.

If you are raped, it is in no way your fault, and you are in no way soiled. Even if you froze, don't blame yourself for not stopping. The only thing you have to remember is that you went into a lustful situation without being committed to this person. Sex is easy if you are married, if you are with someone for quite some time, but it becomes a dangerous game in numerous other accounts. If you said 'yes' but then as he started said 'stop', you are asking someone in the midst of being engaged in sexual activity to listen and while he is obliged to stop, it can be difficult for someone with lack of self-control to actually stop. This is what happens when you sleep with someone who is not your husband, or your long-term partner or committed partner. (This goes for both men and women and other pan-trans-bi-homo sexual relations as well, it's not just woman-on-man)

The feeling of betrayal that you have toward yourself is real. We need to heal from them, to accept that we were trespassed and violated. It is important to understand that none of the physical violence and manipulation and disrespect was your fault and that you were a victim to another's sinful whiles. The feeling of shame and sadness is part of the self-rape. Self-rape is important to realize because it makes us understand how weak and lacking we were concerning our own desires. You didn't desire it, but you let it happen anyway. This weakness should never happen again and it's good to learn from a horrible experience especially when the rape happened in the midst of coercion or manipulation or if there is a series of rape and the person stays silent. Remaining silent is dangerous because the person can rape others as well. Remaining silent can make you more prone to continue being harmed by others. Lust can drive one to out-of-their-mind pleasure, and that's what makes it dangerous but also exciting. Be careful not to satisfy yourself on someone either, because then you are raping them, even if they might not realize it. Be in love with them, and make sure they are in love with you. And if they say: 'I love you' but don't respect you properly and you feel like there is a lack of communication or you are afraid to say something, it's not love.

Self-sexuality, however, is healthy and good. It is a time to be alone and to come into contact with your body intimately and sensually.

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day!

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